The Secret To Scary, New & Hard Things

Welcome. Welcome back to a show that has been created by a highly sensitive, high functioning, wildly messy creative who has also made plenty of money in the arts.

Yes, it is possible. It is made by me and it is made for you if you are also highly sensitive, highly functioning and wanting to make money as a wildly creative, slightly messy, easily overwhelmed adult in the arts, we call the creators club right now, but I don’t know that could change, because we are creators, and this week we had a Action Pack week. this is remember, made for you if you are any combination of super sensitive, creative, wild, messy, determined, purpose driven.

And it’s also made especially for you if you are ready to bring something new, an idea, a passion project or a business, into this world. It is the coaching and the mentorship and the teaching and the guidance that I wish I would have had. And as a former music coach and educator, I was very well adept.

I became a master at doing things with my clients, showing them something, teaching them, but before sending them out into the world, being there, doing it, alongside, learning, alongside, up, leveling alongside. And that is something I think that’s missing from the coaching industry now. Everybody’s trying to build their own business with their own passive streams of income that they can record things and be on their way.

And we’re starting to miss the Do It With You component at an affordable price. this week, we are talking about a lot of things. Let’s dive right in.

There are two energy sucking stories that every creative must learn to not tell but retell over and over every time we hear the energy sucking stories come up in our brain, and they will, but we have to learn how to retell them, re parent them almost if we want to ever really give birth to something new. Because creating something new, whether it’s a baby, a business or a passion project requires two things, your time and your attention, and when you want to give your precious time and attention to something, when you literally want to conjure something out of thin air, at first, it’s invisible in your creative mind, and You want to give it breathing body and legs, something that’s tangible, something that’s real, out of the invisible swirl of creativity and your co creation with the divine. These are the two stories that will slow you down or stop you completely.

Are you ready when you hear I’m exhausted. I’m not talking about that when it’s real and you need to go to sleep or lay down or get some food or whatever refueling you need. I’m talking about I’m exhausted when it means something else.

It’s a cover for something else. The other story is I’m stuck, and a very popular way that I’m stuck shows up is I don’t know when you say I’m stuck, or I’ve been stuck, or I can’t figure this out, or I don’t know, all of your power, all of your creative power, is cut off from the source, and your brain loves I don’t know, because then it means I don’t have to anymore. I don’t know means I’m done a lot of times, or at least frustration.

if you’re trying to give your precious time and attention to something, but you have I’m exhausted and I’m stuck looping somewhere and you can’t even hear it. It’s literally trying to drive with the gas and the brake pedal on at the same time. And that, my friends, is exhausting, and it will keep you stuck, and you will go nowhere every time.

But it can be hard to get out of these stories, because they don’t feel stories when you’re thinking them. And in fact, any emotion, it feels real, right? And it is real when it comes to emotions a lot of time.

But these stories, they feel real, they will present the only truth, a fact. When you say, I’m exhausted, literally, you can’t argue with yourself. No one can argue with you, because that would sound really unkind and inconsiderate.

I’m exhausted. Are you really? No, you’re not.

Don’t be exhausted. We don’t hear that. When you say, I’m stuck.

No one’s going to argue with you, or we’re going to be , Well, don’t be pushy, or don’t be caught in descending. In our culture, you don’t push up against someone who says I’m exhausted or I’m stuck. They’re magical walls that stop any idea or creation from moving even an inch forward.

Mm. Right? And here’s the thing, what they really do well at is keep you safe by keeping you the same.

They keep you safe by keeping you staying the same. And hear me, safety is good. We safety.

And in fact, now we’ve been building in the creators club six months of trainings and material that build safety in from various different angles, in our nervous system and our emotional well being and our mental systems and our belief systems and our guidance systems. Internal safety building is important, and we have now 50, 6080, courses that you can watch, mini courses 1015 minutes or less, but you can watch anytime you want, and remember that they are there for you, because as we move into the next phase of implementing some of the business building, we can refer back to those I had to surround myself with my Coaches, podcasts and videos for years before I was ready to give up the stories of exhausted and stuck. And once I did, movement felt great, I would literally think I was exhausted or I’m stuck all the time as a lazy replacement for I’m scared, I’m nervous, I’m angry or I’m sad.

I had one go to here’s a few questions that I want to be little checkpoints to you as you start to question and rewrite the stories of I’m exhausted and I’m stuck. When you think I’m exhausted, I want you to ask, is this exhaustion a signal of that I need to rest and refuel? Or is it something else?

When you hear I’m exhausted, I want you to consider asking, What do I want to do about it powerful? Do I want to lay down? Or am I in some cycle of renewal and I need to do something Go, take a walk, get some sunshine.

It can be a very simple answer for exhaustion. You can ask yourself, is this an invitation right now for some self care time, I said, Do I need nourishment, fuel, water? Do I need to prioritize something is I’m exhausted?

Though, a catalyst for clarity? Is it asking me to clear away some of the noise in my head, realign with my core purpose, make simple decisions and take a tiny aligned action that would put me back in movement? Because once you’re back focused in something that you love, I bet exhaustion melts away in the cases where it’s not that you’re sleepy or tired.

The last thought thought I want to offer you for when exhaustion comes knocking, I want you to think, could I be empowered through pausing if I took a deliberate break? Is that what I need? Or is this a complaint or a cry for a help from some part of me that needs to slow down.

And I’m really saying I’m exhausted, and I need to hear that part of me, okay, that’s exhausted. When you hear the thought, or get close to the thought of feeling I’m stuck, or if someone says, Hey, what are you thinking you’re going to do next about this project? And you go, I don’t know.

I don’t know how to and you feel that wine coming on. I want you to consider, could this stuck be the next starting point? Am I stuck because I’m making a new decision?

Is this an invitation to check in with my intuition, or to maybe innovate something new, because the way I’m doing it, I’ve stopped myself. I don’t the way I’m doing it, or maybe I’m thinking I’m stuck, and I do need a moment of reflection, because I’m going to pivot, I’m going to consciously do something different, but not from I’m stuck and I can’t and I don’t know, but because I’m seeing something a new horizon, and that either way you go, once you start answering those, as You break through the resistance, I want you to remember that I’m stuck could be that final point of resistance, and showing you that breakthrough is really near, and resistance will show up as don’t go any further, because you will change fundamentally if you do break through that resistance, trusting your inner wisdom that’s going to guide you into the next step and another thought to to consider when you’re thinking, I’m stuck, transformation always happens for me. For all my clients, from inside of discomfort, we go through something uncomfortable first.

when you feel stuck, remember that within that discomfort you might be seeing that you’re on the right track. When I start having problems, I have to remind my brain This means we’re doing it. We planned ahead of time, on feeling scared and stuck and wanting to stop this train.

A long time ago, we planned ahead. I literally think the thought this is proof. Know that my plan is working when you feel stuck, when you feel exhausted, that can be proof that your plan is working, or any other of your problems.

Okay, we also talked about this, the fact that the times when you say exhausted, but you really mean, I don’t want to deal with this, or you say I’m stuck because you really mean this is hard or I’m scared, that’s when it’s time to take the right medicine. The right medicine in those scenarios is not going back to bed or hiding in a dark cave with some Netflix. Is it gonna feel that’s what you need?

And I’m not trying to gaslight or toxic positivity or spiritually bypass here, I’m talking about the times when exhausted and stuck is not standing for the need to rest. when it comes to doing new things and doing things you don’t , the medicine of mastering mastery will serve you. What is mastering mastery?

We had a member in the club talks eloquently and wisely about she’s able to go out for these huge open water swims in the ocean. And she has all these thoughts that make that possible, that I don’t have that. If I were hanging out in Hawaii right now, I’d be , I’ll take a little dip, but then I better go in and get a hamburger, and she’s out there for 345, hours swimming miles upon miles from Bay to Bay, because she has thoughts about what she knows herself capable of doing.

Trust in herself, trust in what to do if bad situations that I would be terrified of comes up. She has worked through those. She has different, different set of thoughts, and yet this same client could use these thoughts over in some of her other goals, but they’re they don’t even feel they’re valid, whether it be promotion or sales or marketing, the same thoughts that work for the ocean don’t feel they are possible at first for the new world.

But you all have places in your life where you have already obtained mastery, skill wise and belief wise. mastery. And my job as a coach, and some of your other coaches in the creator’s club is to help you tap in and use the mastery that you already have in other areas and apply it to the new areas that speeds up your process.

Any place where it feels scary or hard or new, you can borrow your own beliefs, and if you can’t figure out your own beliefs, you can borrow some of ours that’ll get you moving again. The work isn’t done by reading books. It’s not done by following someone else’s 12 step proven plan.

Is done by turning toward yourself over and over again when I’m helping someone master something on the piano or the cello or the guitar, the ukulele or the clarinet. Doesn’t even matter if I am a master myself. Slowing down is always required to really see where the problem or the struggle is repeating, a new way of being slowly as many times as it takes, and never putting yourself down because it’s taking you too long or you have to go slower than you wanted to and deeply trusting both yourself and the process of mastery itself, to be able to do things for those around you, to be able to do things for you.

There is a process that everyone is going through as we master things, because when we’re doing scary, hard and new things, resistance, doubt and frustration will come up. There is no version of some goal out there where you slip right into the goal, and you didn’t have to shift yourself and go through the dark night and slay some dragons and have some shadow work come up. And if you think, Oh no, I do reach goals all the time, and I never have bad emotions, then I’m gonna venture to say that you’re not being fully honest at the level of your biology, because your brain was designed one part of it to stop you from doing new things.

emotions come up when you do scary, hard and new things. And if you make the resistance to those emotions, or the emotions themselves mean that you should stop, you’re never going to be able to become what you can become. If you make doubt mean that you’re not good enough, you will sink into depression or worse, if you make frustration mean that it’s going to be too hard, or you can’t deal with something, or you shouldn’t have to deal with something, you’ll distract yourself Self Sabotage, choose other things.

You’ll quietly quit before you even start. I gave a couple examples this week. One, french tip nails and how.

I decided I never wanted to go into a nail salon because I don’t the smell, I don’t the feel, I don’t any part of it, but I really french tips for a reason between me and me. I’m not that fancy of a person, but I love the nails, and I want to be able to do them in five or 10 minutes or less, and I want it to be able to last two to three weeks, and I want it to be non toxic, and I wanted to be good for my nails and all these things. learning the process of this, I decided I’m gonna borrow some of the other areas in my life where I have mastery, going slow, having fun with the mess.

And let me tell you, mess occurred third grade level, paint all over things, ruined clothes, I was not good. And don’t even get me started about trying to paint something with your left hand when you’re not left handed. That’s tiny and needs precision.

And now I have it down. My skills are there. My beliefs are there.

It’s a fun little five minutes for me. I had another story of mentoring someone right now who decided she wanted to write a Broadway musical, and she’s 14, knowing what she was signing up for from the outside, knowing there was going to be a huge goal and a lot of resistance along the way. When she asked me to be her mentor, I can’t say no to a good mentorship opportunity.

I was , let’s do it. And all my job was, was to help when she was getting into that frustrating territory, give her the clarity of all you have is a decision to make. You make that and you go forward and keep clearing up, and I’ll be damned you guys.

We got a musical, and it’s good. I’ll let when it comes out, whether locally or on Broadway. On Broadway.

hear this. The highest medicine for doing scary, new, hard things is deep trust, trust in yourself, trust in your mentors, your teachers, your guides, your coaches, whatever you have, trust yourself. Trust in your support system, especially trust in the thing that you’re doing.

You’re going to be partnering with the spirit of your business, partnering with the spirit of your baby, whatever that baby is trusting that spirit to inform you, creativity herself, trust all over the place. Because if you don’t have that, then scary, hard and new things are always going to stop you, especially when the anxiety, the fear, and all of that comes up, you will feel you will get it will make you feel you’re unsafe, and it’ll be very wily on how to get you out of it. When you do have deep trust, though, you can do these scary, hard new things.

You can say scary hard things. It won’t sound you’re apologizing when you give your opinion. You can be outward, upfront, straightforward with your needs and your ideas.

You can be unapologetically you without feeling a narcissist or a selfish jerk, because where you’re coming from. You can speak and act in your full power, and you radiate out deep trust. When you radiate out, radiate out deep trust, you become magnetic, because those around you feel they can sense it.

We can smell in each other. They can trust you back, because you have the trust in you. You’ll come across very different if you’re , hey, here’s what I’m doing, and I’m speaking to the people that are probably gonna hate me very different than you’re , Oh my God, let me tell you the story really fast.

Shut up and listen, it’s not saying any bad words at them. how do you develop deep trust and tap into the medicine of you of deep trust on demand, one you recognize and be okay with the fact that it takes time. You want deep trust to take time.

That’s good news. You also be okay with the fact that deep trust is multi layered. You start somewhere.

It might show up differently the next time you allow it. And it’s nuanced. It’s the third one.

Deep trust is nuanced. It might not make sense sometimes, until you reconcile it, you have to be with it over time, with all of its layers and deep trust requires sinking into your body often, as often as you can, I have one of these little rings. I didn’t show the club this week.

I don’t know if you all have these little rings, but it goes over your it’s a hard metal, stainless steel, I think. And it really does a Chinese massage thing on your fingers, with all your acupressure points and all of that. But it puts you in your body.

Someone else in the club washes her hands, because it really gets her in her body the feeling of water. And she pictures all of the water going into the ground and what the water is doing and grounding her. we have these different ways.

Yes, I think, honestly, I think you can get these things on Amazon for , a pack of 10, for five bucks or something. I don’t even know, but I’ll go check it out and link to it soon. I.

I don’t even know what they’re called, finger massage rings. Get them, get them. Hand them out to your friends.

But whatever you do to start talking to your body, if you need help with that, where to get help. Okay, lastly, I want to offer you this when it comes to implementing this stuff, bringing it into the world, and using it in your business, using it with your projects. I want you to hear this.

We usually start a business. Create a business because we have a passion, but it’s also because we want to make money, and we have to reconcile those things that we want to do it consciously. Do it socially consciously.

Do it spiritually, consciously. It’s got to align with our values. But we also are doing it because we want to have ease and abundance and sufficiency in our own safety and survival around money.

hear this, making money is a skill, keeping money is a discipline, and multiplying money is an art. That is a paraphrased quote from Robert Kiyosaki, who wrote a book called Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I should have gone and checked that out.

I apologize, but I love it. It washes over me making money as a skill, which, by the way, is a very different skill than when you start to multiply money, because when you’re receiving money, you got to work on the skill of receiving, creating offers, creating value and then receiving. Is the skill, keeping money and spending money in a way where you always still have money is a discipline.

Totally another skill you can learn comes with a set of beliefs and multiplying money is an art. Different skill. It’s an art where your skills start to let go of money again, and you will have had to walk through the steps and work through the fires and the emotions of making money receiving money.

If you don’t do that, you will not be able to let it go. I keep reiterating back on all three of these. that’s all of that is great news for us highly sensitive, high functioning artists, because when you realize you can make money as a wild, messy creative that is a good day.

When you start spending money in a way that allows you to always have money, that’s a great day. And when you realize you can multiply money and have money go out there and work for you by letting it go work for you. That’s a total game changer.

But before we go throwing everything we got at the money thing, there is something that we have to open and it might be a dirty word if you are a highly sensitive creative listening to this, it does make me and my purpose driven creative friends squirm a little, but we must wait make friend. It’s two words. First word starts with O and rhymes with organization, organization.

And if that’s not a dirty word, this next one might be one of the most fun, most accessible and free ways to get and stay and play with organization is starts with an S, ends with a T. It is not a four letter word. It starts with an S.

Rhymes with Edge sheets, spreadsheets. I am a recovering spreadsheet lover. I don’t even know how to say that.

The first time, some of my business mentors, when I was going through one a very big growth spurt in my first company, people were coming on board. Was it going to be more employees? Was it going to be training people to be more me and I could step away from the business?

Investors were interested , people were saying, , I believe in this. I believe in you. I was ready.

I was ready for the growth spurt. And my, one of my mentors, saw my vision and saw that I was going to grow on purpose. And he whipped up some spreadsheets to try to encapsulate what my vision was trying to say.

And you, I have no problems with coming up with ideas, painting pictures, coming from inspiration, starting new things is my jam. I love the starting, but spreadsheeting. When he showed me those spreadsheets, I could see scenarios of what might have to happen if I was gonna do the follow through and how I might have to not know, but tweak each step of the way.

And that made me wanted to crawl out of my inspirational, big vibration skin. And I don’t even have problems following through when it’s coming from my whimsical I want to show up. I feel showing up, especially if another humans involved, but to have an idea and put it, give it legs, and then start showing up for it, that something far off in the future could happen.

I burned a lot of things down before I was able to build them up. As soon as I saw the spreadsheet, I would literally get on the ground i. Felt faint.

I would lay down on the ground and start to move in my stomach felt anxiety. I can’t describe it to you enough. I was uncomfortable.

It felt I was trying to control creativity, and I was but it felt big and impossible and scary, and it would bring up my not enoughness that I hadn’t worked through. there were, there were things that I needed to work through that when I hadn’t worked through them, my new projects did not work because I would get in the way my emotions, my exhaustion, my feelings stuckness, my I can’t see this, my not enoughness when it was being displayed on a 10 year timeline, I was , That is not going to happen. When I saw the amount of work and time I was going to have to put in, it shifted from GET TO to have to it was overwhelming.

I would shut down. And here’s the twist. Sometimes spreadsheets were helping me to see into a future that my intuition then would see as a no and I didn’t know how to decipher, am I nervous and don’t want to do all this work?

Or now that I see the spreadsheet, is that someplace I don’t want to go, I do want to pivot before I even start in those scenarios? In either of those scenarios, it’s not the spreadsheets fault. I want to offer to you, if you haven’t considered a specific form of organization before, or spreadsheeting around your business, around your money, around your creativity, I would love to now that we’re gonna go behind the scene.

We’ll close this chapter of the recap call and the teaching moment and the storytelling, and we will go coach. I want to offer you to send in or write in, or whatever your thoughts are on organization, spreadsheets. Have you considered this before this week, when we talked about in the club, I heard from some of you, this is something I have never even thought of.

I don’t mind spreadsheets for other forms of organization, but for my own life, my own business, my own creativity, that feels blasphemy. we’re gonna pause there, and we’ll coach and I will see you next time you.